These days I’m living in the tension between inspiration and productivity; between drawing water from the well and hauling it home to cook and wash. There are so many things I want to do, but the hours and energy of the day are spent before I can see to them all. I love being in touch with the creative spirit, yet I’m overflowing with plans and ideas that I can hardly carry out. It’s hard to bridge the gap between ideal and actuality, vision and incarnation.
I’m also trying to remember that this challenge is a blessing. I’ve had my share of wandering in the wilderness, wondering where the path was leading. Chances are I’ll experience the wilderness again. But for the time being I have meaningful work to do—an assortment of conversations, projects, and explorations. On the surface they seem unconnected, yet together they impart the sense of gathering energy.
It’s good to feel that generative flow—what we call the Holy Spirit at work. It has been moving all along, bringing me to this place, but now it’s easier to see. Gratefully, I’m trying to pay attention to the work I need to do. And I’m trying to go with the flow.
What if we could always remember that we’re being led to the place we need to be? That we are part of the ongoing work of incarnation?
It really never ends. It’s “Mary and Martha.” The practical demands of life are oppressive. The real masters seem to be able to integrate both sides. I never have been able to pull that off, so it remains a running gun battle between the various “sides” of my personality.
I keep struggling with the Mary and Martha story, but with no real resolution. At least it affirms sitting like Mary when I can…that’s something.
Thanks for your comment, which makes the challenge clear. We’re given this embodied life, as if the point is to have us contend with its needs and demands. And maybe learn something from doing that. But since the tension between Mary and Martha won’t be going away any time soon, it would help to learn to live within that tension and honor both sides without having to resist either. If you figure out how to do that, let me know.