Sometimes life comes at a person I care about in ways that challenge anyone’s ability to cope. When my actions, or theirs, have no power to change those circumstances, all I can offer is presence and concern. And prayer.
But when I tell someone, “My thoughts and prayers are with you,” or “I’ll keep you in my prayers,” what does that really mean? And what does that person want when they ask me to remember them in my prayers?
We all have different hopes and expectations, as we have differing experiences of prayer. But I see at least seven things conveyed when I offer to pray for you:
1) It acknowledges the crisis and pain in your life
2) It says that I am concerned about you, I am with you in your suffering, and I won’t forget about you when we part
3) It recognizes that our lives are subject to things we cannot control, and that we share that position of vulnerability
4) It reminds us both that we have access to spiritual strength that helps see us through the difficulties that life brings
5) It holds faith in the possibility of strength and healing, in some form, through means we cannot predict or understand
6) It points to an interconnected web of life strong enough to contain suffering and still hold beauty, meaning, and love
7) It promises that you are not alone
A promise to pray is itself a kind of prayer, but I don’t think the promise is fulfilled simply in making it. In my next post, I’ll talk about how we might pray for someone.
You might also be interested in a more recent post, “Positive Energy and Prayer.”
this is lovely, thank you…i think prayer for others is so beautiful and very real:-)
Thanks, Lisa. I see it that way, too. And I think that a lot of people who don’t put much stock in prayer nonetheless appreciate being prayed for.
Hi, Susan.
I started this once before & lost it. Hope this works!
Your latest post really speaks to me. I learned yesterday that Dick, my editor & dear friend, has multiple myeloma, and what is there to do but send love & prayers? His is at an early state, called “smouldering,” so that’s good, but it’s very harsh news nonetheless. Please keep him & his wife Nancy in your prayers.
And thanks for being there or here, however we speak of this online place–
George Ella
Thanks for persevering with your comment, George Ella.
It’s good to see you here, and I’m glad this post found you at the right time…whether we say it was there or here.
I’m so sorry that Dick has received such difficult news, for him and well as his family and friends. Prayers for him matter. And yes, my prayers are with him and with you.
[…] What it Means to Say “You’re in My Prayers” […]
Do NOT say ” You’re in my prayers” to a person who is suffering or has a family member that is suffering, if you do NOT intend on actually sitting down and praying for these individuals. It’s a FALSE sense of security for these ppl. Think about how many children that have died and how many ppl told this childs parents ” you’re child is in my prayers”… A very over used phrase…
There is nothing better than “direct experience.”
Your article is good. The problem in prayer is when we want to change the past or coming by prayer. I believe that a loving God has our future in his hands. Instead of praying for change, let us pray in THANKS for what we have.
Thanks
William J. Callahan
Saying “my thoughts and prayers are with you” is not a prayer itself. By saying that, you are trying to comfort the other person and letting them know that you feel bad for them or the situation. But, it is false comfort. The comfort comes because they think that you are really praying for them. It should not just be a saying, it should be an action. I have been going through tough times lately, and I don’t want to hear “my thoughts and prayers are with you.” You can say “my thoughts are with you”, but don’t give me a false sense of comfort and say that I’m in your prayers and then you don’t pray. I would much rather you pray for me or the situation and then tell me “I prayed for you.”
It’s not enough to just say it, do it!
Prayer does not have to be “on your knees with a lot of dialogue with God.” Everyday you can pray a word or two on that person’s behalf. For example: Please, God, comfort Anne. Give Jake strength. Help Susa., I left Katie. Send your angels to comfort, etc. Praying for others can also open you up to God’s guidance and understanding. You will soon find that he speaks to each of us on a daily basis. It is a matter of keeping your mind open to His nudges.
Hi B S Salmon
I agree with you, short daily prayers asking God to help them is very genuine.
Telling them your prayer right away is better, example:
my thoughts are with you, (may God hold you and your family in the Palm of His Hand and comfort you during this difficult time, amen.)